Toilet seat
Hey Scimon, something's been bugging me.
Oh? Anything I can help with?
Maybe. See my girlfriend Elena gets really annoyed when I leave the toilet seat up at home. What's the big deal? Why are women so fussy about something so trivial?
Hmm. Well, Science says that it is actually a somewhat complex problem that can be broken down into 4 scenarios. These 4 scenarios can be treated separately. The first scenario is in a typical household where there are a few males and females who know each other very well, perhaps a family. The second scenario is a toilet shared by men and women who are only somewhat acquainted with each other, for example in a co-ed student accomodation with shared toilets. In the third scenario, the toilet in question is a public toilet used by large numbers of both men and women who are unknown to each other. The fourth scenario is locker-room type toilets, where there are exclusive male and female toilets. With me so far?
Yeah. I can't really think of any other major scenarios.
There is also another dimension to all this: the effort required for putting the seat up and down, and the probability that urine splashes on the toilet seat.
Yuck.
Another thing I should mention, is that there are two kinds of men when it comes to urinating. Some care about not urinating on the toilet seat, so they put the toilet seat up before urinating, the rest don't care. Those who do care however will occasionally forget to put the toilet seat up before urinating.
Yeah, that's understandable.
When it comes to effort used in putting the toilet seat up or down, let's assume that the effort required to put the toilet seat up is equal to the effort required to put the toilet seat down. Does that sound fair?
Yeah.
Ok now lets look at the first scenario. In the typical household, the males will face consequences if they do anything unfair to the females. If the household rule is that a male should leave the toilet seat up after urinating, then it's fair, because the males put in the same amount of effort as the females; that is, each time a man leaves the toilet seat up after urinating, the woman has to put it down before urinating, and each time a woman leaves the seat down after urinating, the man has to put it up before urinating. If however the rule is that the males should always leave the seat down after urinating, then it's unfair to the males because they're putting in all the effort while the women are putting in no effort. That is, the males must put the seat up, urinate, then put the seat down.
Makes perfect sense.
Now let's consider the urine on the toilet seat problem in the first scenario. Because the males face consequences if they urinate on the toilet seat, males in the household usually do care about not urinating on the toilet seat, else risk sleeping on the couch along with its attendant benefits such as no sex, or being sent to bed without supper. So they usually put the seat up before urinating. However, like I said before, they may forget occasionally.
Hey, it could happen.
Therefore the females of the house will need to decide whether the rule should be to always leave the seat up or down. If the former, the females do all the work putting the seat down before urinating and up after urinating, while the males don't put in any effort before or after urinating because the seat is always up. The upside to this is that there is no chance of urine getting on the toilet seat because the seat is always up when the man urinates. If however the rule is to always leave the seat down, then the males do all the work putting the seat up before urinating and down after urinating, but the females will have to contend with the possibility that the male may forget occasionally and urinate on the seat. The third option is just do whatever is convenient, which means that males and females put in the same effort, but there is the risk of urine on the seat.
Yeah.
Now for the second scenario. In a co-ed student accommodation with shared toilets, males face fewer consequences if they do something unfair to the females. As a result, the group of males who care about not urinating on the toilet seat is smaller. Since there is less chance of negotiation and compromise, people will mostly do whatever is convenient to themselves, in other words, males will leave the seat up, and women will leave the seat down. Thus males and females will have to put in equal effort. However, the females are faced with the choice of leaving the seat down and having to more frequently deal with urine on the seat, or always leaving the seat up.
I love being a man!
The third scenario is much like the second, however there is no possibility of negotiation or compromise. Everyone only acts in their own self-interest. Because the negative consequences to males for being unfair to the females is slim to none, the group of males who care about not urinating on the toilet seat is rather small now. Males who do care are also more likely to forget. The females are faced with no choice but to always leave the seat up before urinating, else deal with very frequent occurences of urine on the seat.
True.
In the fourth scenario, we won't consider female only toilets because they only exist in a fairer dimension known as the Ladies' Room where these problems don't exist. In male only toilets, however, for the same reasons as before, it is advisable for men to always leave the seat up. Having to deal with urine on the toilet seat is as distasteful for men as it is for women.
Yeah it's pretty disgusting. That's why I always leave the seat up.
Well, everything seems pretty bleak for females doesn't it? Not necessarily. In those scenarios where they exercise some amount of control, they could just set the rule as "always leave the toilet cover down". When the toilet cover is down, all toilet users both male and female must put in the effort to raise the toilet seat and/or cover before urinating and lower it after urinating. This might not completely eliminate urine on the seat, but is more fair. Another alternative is to install a urinal. Unfortunately some males do completely ignore the urinal. I have personally seen toilet seats covered in urine when there's a perfectly functional urinal nearby.
Yeah I just hate those guys.
Anyway, I think that just about covers it. The short and sweet version is this: whether you are male or female, for the love of Science, please always leave the toilet seat UP!
Ha ha. Right on!
