Bridge

In this article I'm going to talk about "bridges". I will use the word "bridge" to refer to a device that you can use to help you make some small but important changes in your life.

First I will give you a bit of backstory so that there is some context within which I can introduce the device.

At the office I work with 2 computers. The main one which I use to get the majority of work done connects to the internal network for accessing work-related information. The other computer is the "internet computer", which I use for everything else. A couple of months ago, the work computer started to have problems with randomly crashing and eventually became unusable. So I replaced the work computer with the internet computer, and my boss bought a new laptop which became the new internet computer. He said it would be ok for me to take it home.

For a couple of months I was quite happy! Finally I had a computer that was fast enough to pay the more graphics-hungry of the 400-something games I owned on various game distribution platforms. Pretty soon though, things started to go downhill. I was playing games until the wee hours of the morning, not getting enough sleep, and more importantly not getting any work done. Occasionally I'd plan to go out dancing, but instead get drawn into one virtual world or another. Obviously this had to stop.

One day, my housemate commented that she hadn't seen me in a while, and that I wasn't eating properly and not getting enough sleep. This got me thinking. The laptop was obviously the root of the problem. I decided then and there to not bring the laptop home anymore. Now stop for a moment because I want you to think very carefully about the previous sentence. "I decided to not bring the laptop home anymore." Now that is an easy decision to make. People make these kinds of decisions all the time. Here are two examples:

• At every new New Year, people make so-called "New Years Resolutions". Unfortunately these NYRs don't last very long.
• Those people with less financial sense often use a credit card to buy something they cannot really afford.

In both of the above cases, there is some sort of reward in the present (here and now), with some punishment in the future as a trade-off.

Such decisions are very easy to make! Easy because the punishment is somewhere in the future.

Now why is this device called the "bridge"? Think of the popular saying "I'll cross that bridge when I get to it". It perfectly sums up the kind of thinking that leads to seeking immediate gratification in exchange for delayed punishment. So far though, this doesn't seem like a very useful device. But bear with me, because I am about to show you that if you turn the kind of self-destructive seeking of instant reward in exchange for delayed punishment" upside down, it now actually becomes a useful device!

First though, you must understand reward and punishment. Specifically how they are both one and the same thing. They are not two different things, but rather there is one scale or continuum on which whatever is nearer the reward-end is a reward of whatever is nearer the punishment-end. And vice versa: whatever is nearer the punishment-end is a punishment of whatever is nearer the reward-end.

What exactly did I do with my laptop to get myself out of my predicament? The next time I was in the office, getting ready to go home for the day, I said to myself, "I'll just leave my laptop here, get in the car and drive home." So I did. I found this a relatively easy decision to make, because I was making a decision that would come back to bite me some time in the future. Because of hyperbolic time, things in the present seem more magnified than in the past or future and things in the past and future seem smaller than things in the present.

Now, you can't use "I'll cross that bridge when I get to it" for gain effectively unless you pair it with "burn your bridges". Burning one's bridges means to do something that prevents yourself from backing out later. When I came to Australia in July 2007, I burned my bridges. I quit my job, cut all strings, said all my goodbyes, bought the plane ticket, paid my university tuition fees for the semester in full, etc. There was no way I could go back without a mountain of expense. In a similar fashion, in leaving the laptop at the office, then getting in the car and driving home, I was in effect "burning my bridges". That is, putting a hump or hurdle high enough between me and my addiction.

You too can use the "bridge" device in your life to overcome some of your addictions. If you think you can't live without something, look to the past. 2